HAPPY NEW YEAR......

So I have once again made a list of New Year Resolutions. I've been doing this since I was 14, and every year it goes like this:

1. Eagerly sit down New Year's Eve to thoughtfully write up 10 resolutions I KNOW I can accomplish.

2. End of week 1......Don't miss a beat! Pat myself on the back at a job well done. This is a cinch! I'm still very enthusiastic about my new endeavors. See, I knew I could do it. I swear to keep going to the best of my ability.
3. 30 days in.....Missed a couple here and there, but hey, I'm a busy woman, mom, wife, daughter, friend....so it's okay to falter once in a while. The important thing is to keep going, get up when you fall and all that. Don't get too discouraged, just try harder, you can do it!
4. 60 days in....I'm shooting at 50%, but let's face it.....at least I'm still going. At least I'm trying. I tell myself that half the planet probably didn't even write resolutions, and half of the half that did probably didn't make it past the first month, so I figure I'm running in the top 25% percentile. I'm doing pretty good. Another pat on the back.
5. 74 days in......Well....getting one resolution done a day is not so bad. At least I'm not a COMPLETE failure.
6. 90 days in...What resolutions?
7. 6 months into the new year....I start feeling guilty. I feel like a slacker. I really need to get back on track with everything so I give it another go.
8. Repeat steps 1-5.
9. Step 6: Get real Amy!! Why do I do this to myself every year. I can't possibly continue this facade. So, yet again, I disappoint myself to the point where I swear I AM NEVER WRITING ANOTHER RESOLUTION AGAIN!!!
10. By Thanksgiving, as memories of complete disappointment have faded, I start contemplating my new list of Resolutions. So once again, I find myself New Year's Eve sitting at the kitchen table with pen and paper in hand, naively making my new list of personal, spiritual and emotional improvements toward a better me.

This year, in light of every year past, I have decided to make 2 lists. The first is the list I WISH I could do, and the second is the list I KNOW I can do. That way each night, I can feel like I've accomplished something. Here's my number 2:

1. Forget losing weight, just don't gain any more weight!
2. When I do yell at my kids, do it in a mild tone of voice.
3. PB&J for dinner once a week.
4. Spend at least half my day picking up the same toys over and over and over again.
5. Eat chocolate at least once a day.
6. Spend the other half of my day chasing down Silas, breaking up arguments, listening to whining.....and continue to tell myself that I AM making an impact in their life...I AM.
8. Vacuum when I can no longer see the carpet.
9. Take my vitamins daily.
10. Make it through the year without spending any time in a straight jacket locked inside a padded cell.