Each year I celebrate two birthdays. The first is August 16th, the day of my physical birth, and the second is the day I call my spiritual birth, it is the day I truly celebrate my life, and it is May 16th.
On this day so many years ago in a small classroom, as a frightened ten year of girl I faced my mortality. For the first time in my young life I exercised faith in a God I did not know. I found Him as I knelt to pray with a young kindergarten teacher and a small group of children. I felt His love as warm and strong as the sun upon my face, and His peace and comfort as safe and secure as the arms of my mother. I knew from the moment I felt His presence that He was aware of my situation and no matter how that day would turn out, He would always be there. His grace and love gave me the courage and strength to endure that day and the difficult hardships I faced during the months of recovery that followed.
The true miracle of my experience was not only that I survived, or that the severe third degree burns I suffered healed without a trace; it was that I learned I was not alone in this world. I was a daughter of God and He knew me and loved me. My life was not chance. I was born to a specific purpose. My prayer was answered that day by a merciful and gracious Father in Heaven who granted me the gift of a second chance.
I remember the events vivid and clear, as if it happened just yesterday. Every second of every moment is locked in my memory; the nauseating smell of gasoline, the distant hum of a helicopter, the soft sound of weeping children, the high pitched sound of the explosion, the choking smoke, the screaming children, the bright flashing of red and orange flames, the teachers yelling, "get down and out", the strange tingling sensation of my skin burning, and the sight of John Miller as he lay lifeless on the sidewalk, his white shirt covered in dark red blood.
I have not forgotten because I choose to remember; the bravery of Rocky Moore and Jack Mitchell as they slapped the fire out of my clothing with their bare hands, the courage of my eight year old brother, Andy, who was burned while running through flames to come to my rescue, the sympathy and sadness in the eyes of a young marine as he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the street to safety, the hug of comfort from Delbert Rentfro as he held me while I was shaking and crying, the compassion of Glenna Walker as she carried me to an ambulance, the look of pure love and relief within the tear-streaked face of my mother, the shouts of joy and excitement as the town celebrated that no one had perished but our captors, the joy of being with my family again, and finally, the hope of tomorrow--I will always remember.
A seed of faith was planted deep within my heart that day, and it continues to grow. I have often thought about the innocent, loving and spirited little girl who entered that classroom. I know she is not forgotten, or lost. She has become my hope, faith, aspirations and all I believe to be pure and good in this world. She continues to teach the woman I have become as I am reminded daily of my many blessings. I still believe, as I did with all my young girl heart, that humanity is great and full of love, grace, and goodness.
In many ways I have found myself in that small room again on different occasions in my life as I have faced great sorrows and overcome difficult challenges. Each time I have been through the "Refiner's Fire," my character has been strengthened and molded and I have been given a deeper understanding and appreciation for my life. I believe that our lives are not our own nor do they belong to us. They are borrowed. By turning my life over to God I have been completely healed and have done more with my life than I ever could have done on my own. I have been changed by His love in ways I never could have imagined as a child. This knowledge has empowered me. It has given me the strength, courage, comfort and determination to live my life the best way I can. This is the gift I give back to my Heavenly Father for my second chance.
I treasure every experience I have had over the last twenty five years and often think about the life I almost missed. I compare my life to the parable of the ten talents in the New Testament. I am responsible for the sacred gift of time I have been given as it will one day be accounted for. It is precious and can never be relived. What I do with this time in my choice, so it must be used carefully. I do not take it for granted. Every laugh, every hug, every tear, and every moment is cherished.
I have stood at the top of the Eiffel Tower and watched the sun set over Paris as I dreamt about in Mr. Metcalfe's history class. I have seen the Stratford Upon Avon I read about as I learned of Shakespeare in Mr. Birch's eight grade literature class. I have had the chance to attend college, experience new adventures, meet new friends, travel, find the love of my life and know the joy of motherhood as I have felt the presence of heaven while rocking my children to sleep at night.
I know my priorities and I choose wisely. I take every opportunity to tell my family I love them each day. I play with my children instead of doing housework, and hold them just a little longer. I am slower to anger and quick to forgive and have learned to try and live my life without regrets. I think I am a more compassionate woman, a more loving wife, a more patient and devoted mother, a more understanding daughter, a more accepting sister, a more dependable friend and a more considerate human being that I ever could have been without this experience.
There is a poem that has become the theme of my life. The author is unknown and the title is, The Plan of the Master Weaver. In short, our time on this earth is a weaving in progress, and every moment, every choice, every experience represents a colorful thread that is delicately interwoven into the tapestry of our lives, creating a unique and beautiful pattern. I am grateful for the chance I have had to sit at the loom and I can't wait to see the masterpiece I am creating. Each of us who survived that day, in our own way, resembles the legendary Chinese Phoenix that rose from the ashes, born anew. We are as unique and different as our experience, and each was given a second chance. This experience has given me a deeper appreciation for the atonement of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I have experienced, firsthand, His unconditional love and have felt the healing power of granting complete forgiveness to a man I had never met before May 16, 1986. I will never forget the miracle of that day or the blessing of being strengthened by the "Refiner's Fire."
