CHILDREN ARE QUICK!

TEACHER: Why are you late?

STUDENT: Class started before I got here.

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TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.

MARIA: Here it is.

TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?

CLASS: Maria.

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TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?

JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.

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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'

GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'

TEACHER: No, that's wrong

GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.

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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?

DONALD: H I J K L M N O.

TEACHER: What are you talking about?

DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.

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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.

WINNIE: Me!

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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?

GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ' I. '

MILLIE: I is..

TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'

MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,

but also admitted it.

Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?

LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.....

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TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?

SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's..

Did you copy his?

CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.

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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people

are no longer interested?

HAROLD: A teacher

KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS.............

Over breakfast on Monday I was telling the boys that Jason had left early in the morning to head back to Vegas to work for the week. Logan pipes up, "Mom, the next time we go to Vegas with dad, I really, Really, REALLY, want to go to Circus McGurkus. (I think he meant Circus, Circus...he just has Seuss on the brains).

Silas was eating a bowl of ice cream after dinner one night and he says, "Oh! I haff a headache in my belly"!

Logan had been holding Kresta in his lap for about 20 minutes while he watched a cartoon before he decided it was time to give her back to me. When he went to stand up he said, "Oh, my legs are just itching and itching! They feel like they have crumbs in them!"

One night Silas crawled into my lap on the couch. He sat with me for about 3 minutes before he looked up at me and said, "Mom I dust luff to be wiff you. It makes me happy!"

CYCLONE SILO'S VISIT TO THE HOSPITAL.

How much damage can one 3 year old really do during a 30 minute hospital visit...let me walk you through it.

3 minutes upon entering my hospital room he begins to eat a chocolate donut, which promptly ends up all over his face, his shirt, his hands and the floor; where he steps on it, and tracks little Silas footprints all over the hospital room. Interesting to see all the places a 3 year old walks to in such a small room! Eventually chocolate ends up on several walls, a chair, on the white sheets of my hospital bed and the bathroom door.

7 minutes in he decides it's time to wash his hands and heads for the bathroom. 3 minutes and a swimming pool later, Jason is in the bathroom unplugging the washcloth from the bottom of the sink and mopping up the bathroom floor.

12 minutes in he decides he needs to go potty and stands in front of the toilet trying to "make the pee-pee come out." When this doesn't work and he gets bored, he flushes the toilet several times to see the "woolpool" (whirlpool) that is made by the high-velocity flushing.

14 minutes in a nurse comes rushing into the room toward the bathroom and is stopped dead in her tracks when she sees the naked bum of a 3 year old with his pants around his ankles standing in front of the toilet. Apparently Silas had pulled the emergency call button in the bathroom which had paged every nurse of the entire floor that I had fallen in the bathroom and need assistance! Sure enough, Silas is pointing at the flashing red light on the wall next to the call button. "Look! Ets bwinking!"

16 minutes in after washing his hands again, Silas decides to fiddle with the handle on the bathroom door. Somehow he locks it from the inside, and closes it!

17 minutes in Silas has now migrated to me. He has decided to come and "cuddo" (cuddle) with me, but is quickly sidetracked by the array of interesting buttons on the side of my bed. Soon, I find myself being moved up and down, over and over and over again; and eventually I end up nearly sandwiched with my nose practically touching my feet. After we all nearly go deaf from him turning up the television....I threaten him with his life if he doesn't leave the buttons alone.

21 minutes in a nurse pages my room to make sure I am alright because Silas has somehow found the emergency call button on the side of my bed and pressed that one as well!

23 minutes in a nurse brings me a glass of milk, an ibuprofen and a colace. Silas decides he's thirsty and helps himself to my milk, which within 30 seconds flat, slips from his pudgy little fingers and ends splattered all all over the floor, the bed and himself!

27 minutes in Silas calmly says to me, "Mom, dewes someting en my nose."
"Do you need to blow your nose?"
"No, I don't need to bwow my nose, dewes someting en et."
"Is it a booger Si?"
"No, ets wed (red)."
"What do you mean there's something in your nose that is red? Silas! Did you put something up your nose?"
"Yep."
I quickly glance on my bedside tray, and sure enough my small round colace is missing.
"Silas, did you put mom's medicine up your nose?"
"Yep."
"Jason! Silas put my colace up his nose." In the meantime Si tries sniffing the colace further up his nose.
"No Si! Don't do that, you need to blow it out. Here plug this side of your nose like this, now blow....blow again....blow really, really, hard."
Nothing was working and I was beginning to panic. "Well it's a good thing were in the hospital", I said to Jason under my breath as he was trying to get the bathroom door unlocked. Once the door was open, Jason worked his magic with a pair of tweezers and lots of blowing and the colace was out!
I guess it's a good thing I only have babies every 3 years.

KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS.........

Silas asked for cereal for breakfast one morning. As I'm walking toward the cupboard I ask him what cereal he would like. He replies in such an adult manner, "Oh...I don't know. Maybe...fwosted snowflakes. Yah, dat sounds good. I'll haff fwosted snowflakes mom."

Logan walks up to me as I'm standing at the kitchen table, wraps his arms around me and says, "Mom, I'm so glad I chose this family. I love you so much!"

Silas yelled down to me from upstairs, "Mom, Logan fawted! Logan you gotta stop stinkin' out the place!"