I wish I could have just 15 minutes with my sister today to celebrate her 39th birthday. I know she's here with me and has been with me all these years, but I'd like to see her, hear her voice again, and hold her. I'd like to introduce her to Jason and my sweet boys, especially since Silas reminds me so much of her for some reason. She was born a fighter, with a strong spirit and a stubborn nature. She came into this world on her own terms, 3 months early. She was given no chance of survival at birth, but she lived against all odds to survive open heart surgery at age one in 1972. I've wondered over the years why she was spared so young, only to die so young at only 20 years old. But I know the answer. She was like a fire, and she changed all of our lives with her warmth and light. She was a daughter, a big sister, a best friend. She was 5 ft 11 inches and breathtakingly beautiful with porcelain skin, golden light brown hair and blue eyes. She had a crooked smile and a warm, deep laugh that made me feel safe. She was a Rodeo Queen, and a goddess on a horse. She was a big hair 80's rocker who introduced me to GNR, Cinderella, Scorpions, Judas Priest and AC/DC. I still think of her every time I hear Sweet Child O' Mine. She was courageous, passionate and adventurous. She loved carrot cake and vanilla ice cream, the beach, and horses. She loved native Indian culture, and wished she could have been born an Indian to roam the plains a hundred years ago. She had a big heart, was kind to everyone and always made me feel special. She was the coolest, funnest, greatest big sister to ever walk the planet. She let me tag along even when I was a scrawny pre-teen who was all knees and elbows. She let me stay up late and eat junk food. She bought me jewelery and my own pack of big red chewing gum. She did my hair and taught me how to wear makeup as well how to play poker using m&m's for ante. She let me try on her clothes, high heels and wear her Obsession perfume. She gave me advice about boys, gave me the courage to have my first "real" kiss, and showed me how to properly stuff my bra. She shared all her secrets and told me all about life on her own. We talked of starting a female rock band where she would be lead singer and I would play electric guitar. We were going to buy our homes next to each other. She dreamed of owning her own ranch and she was going to teach my children to ride horses, and maybe, just maybe, teach me to barrel race. She was my angel. The one I always told EVERYTHING to, even my deepest, darkest secrets. She left my life way too soon, taken from me in a car accident when I was 16.
I still miss you as much today as the day you left almost 19 years ago. You are one of the reasons I try to live my life to best of my ability because I know I will see you again. My greatest prayer is that I will have a daughter to bear your strong and beautiful name. I remember you Kresta. I carry you with me everyday. I imagine you in heaven, riding hellbent for leather across a vast prairie covered in wildflowers, beneath the Rocky Mountains, bareback on a wild mustang with your hair, a golden flag waving in the wind behind you. Ride that wind, Kresta. Ride the Wind until me meet again. Sister, I miss you.
Here she is, only 2 weeks old. She was born at 28 weeks, and was such a fighter.
1 month old.
3 months old. She was originally due to be born at this time.
5 months.
11 months.
19 months.
2 years
3 years old.
4 years old.
August 1976, Kindergarten picture. 5 years old.
7 years old.
9 years old.
11 years old.
12 years old.
Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures of Kresta after the age of 12, they are all with my mom in Oregon.
3 years old.
